Relationship Tips and Health Advice

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Your period can do many things: ruin your underwear, inspire works of art, and…boost your sex life? Sounds crazy, but it’s true. “Having sex while menstruating isn’t weird, uncommon, unhygienic, or unsafe,” says Sadie Allison, Ph.D.,  author of Ride 'Em Cowgirl! Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking. Even better, it can help you bond with your partner. Try these tips to turn that time into the month into something you—and your vagina—can look forward to.

1. Embrace the dirtiness

Sure, it makes sense to minimize the mess by doing things like laying down a dark towel. Bedding isn’t cheap! But sex can be a little chaotic during the most normal of sessions, so getting it on with Aunt Flo as a companion practically guarantees a bit of bloodshed. Instead of being embarrassed, try to think of it as hot proof that you’re doing something that can be seen a a little taboo.

“Doing things that feel forbidden can be a turn on,” says Megan Fleming, Ph.D., sex and relationship expert. “When you’re doing something transgressive, it can induce physiological effects like your heart rate going up.” Your body can interpret that as either anxiety or excitement, depending in part on how you frame the situation mentally. To that end, think of yourself as a badass who’s breaking her previous sex rules, then keep at it. And don’t worry about him freaking out at the sight of some blood. “If he’s game to have sex on your period, he already knows that might happen,” says Fleming.

It's not always easy to tell if your partner's drinking habits are totally normal or a sign of a bigger issue. But a few key factors, such as how often he slings a drink and how much he downs, can clue you in.

"People who have a healthy relationship with alcohol don’t drink often enough or to the point of excess where they could have a problem," says Jasmine Aranda, addiction counselor and clinical director at The Foundry Treatment Center in Steamboat Springs, Colorado.

But alcoholics function differently. "An alcoholic is psychologically and physically dependent on the chronic consumption of alcohol and often can’t stop drinking once they’ve started," says Randall Dwenger, M.D., psychiatrist and medical director at Mountainside Treatment Center in Canaan, Connecticut.

It’s important to know that even those with healthy, happy lives can fall into the trap of addiction. If you suspect your partner has a problem, these signs can help determine whether your S.O. should seek professional treatment.

When my two closest friends invited me into their marriage, I thought it was the perfect relationship. Until it wasn't. ​

Champagne flute in hand, I stood with my two best friends at the front desk of a resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, confronting the situation with our room.

The hotel wanted to give us a room with two beds. "We'd rather have a king size," my best friend said.

I stood by with her husband, letting her do the talking. The three of us had been best friends for six years, since college. They'd been married four years that week. Standing there with them, sweating in the hotel lobby, amused at the concierge's confusion, nothing felt more right.

Just a few months before the trip, over a long weekend, all three of us had slept together like three spoons, her in the middle. It was her idea — she said she wanted the closeness. I thought it was sweet. It felt entirely natural to be in such close physical proximity to the two people I had often felt emotionally closest to.


Inevitably, we all got drunk the next day. Fueled by alcohol and the spirit of the weekend, she took things up a notch and showed me their sex toy collection. She dressed me up in costumes — then asked me to make out with her while her husband watched and made suggestions.

When you ask him to stop doing something, he thinks it's funnier if he just keeps doing it = NOPE.

1. He stares at his phone like it's a hot girl he wants to sleep with and stares at you like you're a pile of old cheese he keeps meaning to throw out. 

I know that pretty much our whole generation does this to some degree but if he's more interested in checking out his friend Mikey's #TBT Instagram photos of spring break '08 than he is talking to you about your upcoming scuba trip, there's no way he's going to focus on giving you orgasms. 

2. You have no idea whether or not he finds you pretty, even though you're dating. 

If you're dating a guy who doesn't make you feel like the Gisele of your bedroom, it's going to be hard for you to really let loose and have a great time in bed, because all you'll be thinking about is, Why are you having sex with me? Is it because you're just trying to be nice? Or did you think I was pretty at first and now you don't? I don't want to have sex with someone who thinks I am a troll because I am NOT a troll, Brian! and no one has ever had an orgasm that way. 

1. If this sucks, I'm leaving in an hour. 

Maybe I should set an alarm and label it, "Are you having fun, Lane? Really? Be honest."

2. Even if this is horrible, at least I can tell all my friends while they give me pitying looks. And then they'll say things like, "Ugh, I do not miss being single," and I'll be like, "I know!" and then we'll all get drunk. Not bad. 

3. What if this is seriously The One and then one day, we're like "And we met on Tinder. I know, lame, right?" But then what we really do is look at each other adoringly because awwww, modern love.

4. He looks exactly like/nothing like his photos. 

This is such a relief/gigantic disappointment for which I wish I could sue him.

Learn some helpful techniques to start manifesting an amazing intimate relationship today!

There are many things you can do to manifest an amazing intimate relationship, yet one of the fastest and most effective methods is keeping your attention on what you LIKE about the person, instead of what you DON’T like.  Whatever you put your attention on expands and grows, so why not look for what is Divine rather than hideous?  Whenever you find something negative in someone there’s that judgmental part in you secretly holding an attachment to what they “should” be.   Everybody is exactly the way they need to be right now.  The Universe is always exactly the way it should be in every moment!  Realize the deeper truth in this and you’ll free your energy up to attracting that amazing intimate connection that feels like you’re living in that sacred special loving paradise everyday.

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.”  ~ Tom Robbins

The Universe is really quite brilliant in many amazing ways.  It is designed to awaken each of us to our infinite path, purpose and potentiality.  If you are going to discover your deepest spiritual depth and truly learn all the life lessons you are here to learn, you MUST open up and deepen in intimacy with someone.  An intimate open loving relationship is your ULTIMATE teacher, because it forces you to go deeper inside and heal all those wounded parts that feel unworthy of love.  Without true intimacy the mind will just make up stories that your relationship is O.K. as it is and while deeper inside you really feel disconnected from your partner.  Only through opening up to deeper intimacy can you discover total healing and the real reason why you are on this amazing journey called Life.

“If you want a place in the sun, you have to put up with a few blisters.” ~Abigail Van Buren

Intimacy (into-you-me-see) can be uncomfortable at first, especially when you have to look at parts of yourself that you don’t like to look at.  Yet, it invites you to release attachment from any protected, defended, velvet rut of an ego-trip, and forces you to reveal the most Divine aspects of your Being.  Sharing your heart openly, vulnerably and freely with another is the strongest and most courageous thing a person can do on this Earth.  The ultimate result is total freedom from suffering.  Sure, intimacy is like anything in life, it contains both the negative and positive aspects depending on how you view it.  Yet, on the path that truly fulfills your soul, intimacy creates a depth in understanding your real self that goes beyond anything you can do in your cave alone.


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